Archive for December, 2011

How To Defeat Terrorism

Stopping terrorism is not like gambling, in poker there are different variables that can affect the outcome but it fighting terror the only way to win is to fight to the end.

Many people thing that the terrorist feel they have been wronged by something or someone and that giving them something will end the fight be it land or money, but history has repeatedly shown us that by appeasing the terrorists we are only giving them what they want, and prolonging the fight. They will continue to take everything they are given but they never stop wanting more.

An example of this is clear in the Israeli- Palestinian conflict. Israel allows the PLO to return to the west bank and Gaza and form the Palestinian Authority, Israel supplied weapons and the Americans provided training to the Palestinians so they could start a army to fight crime and terrorism.

Israel was repaid by the terrorists by suicide bombings in malls, restaurants, clubs and busses.

More recently Israel pulled all Jews from Gaza and gave all the land to the Palestinians. The Israelis left behind infrastructure and greenhouses, which could have been used for businesses by the Palestinians. The moment the last troops were out of Gaza the terrorists destroyed what the Israelis left behind and again repaid them with rockets on Sderot and Ashkelon, two Jewish cities bordering Gaza.

Many of you are thinking that these problems were brought on by the Israelis stealing Palestinians land, but what was it that the United States did that angered Al Qaeda?

Many will say it is because America has troops in Saudi Arabia where the two holiest locations to the Muslim people are, these people are wrong. This fight is not about the terrorists wanting America out of the Middle East.

This was is about the pride of one individual. Osama Bin Laden, and that’s all it is about.

In 1991 when Saddam Hussein Invaded Kuwait, Saudi Arabia was worried and was looking to get help to protect its oil fields. Osama Bin Laden offered his assistance to help protect his homeland with the help of his Mujahadim, who had helped protect Afghanistan from the Russians in the 80’s.

But rather then gamble on Bin Laden’s holey warriors, the Saudis asked for help from the United States, and this wounded Bin Laden’s pride. Now Bin Laden is on a quest to show the world that he is the true protector of Islam, do not be fooled this is a war of religion.
The only thing that has ever worked is not to try to negotiate with these people but to fight them with force. You will find that with any military action against terrorists once you start to make some headway they will start to yell about a Hudna or temporary cease fire.

The Only way to defeat terrorism is to fight terrorism whenever and wherever it shows its head, and to never let up on those who would use terror to forward their goals.

How To Deal With Gambling Addiction

They say the first step to beating an addiction is to admit that you have a problem.

Dealing with someone who has a gambling addiction can be painful. They have a tendency to withdraw from family and loved ones, so what are you supposed to do when someone you care about has developed a gambling addiction.

There are several things you will need to do and some of them are very hard to do.

The first thing you have to do is to hide all your valuables, and if this person lives with you, then you need to keep them behind locked doors and if that is not possible then take them to a bank and lock them in a safety deposit box.

If this person is you child or your spouse then you need to limit there access to your money. In many circumstances people have spent their family’s savings and kid’s college funds. So if at all possible try to get that persons name of the accounts if it is not already too late, and cancel all their credit cards.

At some point you will have to confront them. When you do confront them it is important to not yell and do not get angry just tell them how what they are doing affects you. Make sure that all the persons close friends are there to help with this.

It is important that everyone take turns and tell the person how his gambling has affected their relationships, but in a non angry, caring manner. This will help the person realize that the people that care about him see something that maybe he does not and hopefully will take an honest look at his gambling.

Remember the goal of confronting someone is not to make them stop gambling, it is to help them recognize they have a gambling problem and to encourage them to seek professional help.

Some people recommend that you try to get your friend to go to a gamblers anonymous meeting, but I do not recommend this. Gamblers Anonymous is a great organization that truly helps those with gambling problems stay away from gambling, but before you are ready for this most people need one on one sessions with a psychologist or a counselor trained to deal with gambling addiction.

After all is said and done, you must be prepared because most of the time the gambler continues to gamble, maybe they will make a brief attempt to stop before starting again in secret.

With most addictions the person with the problem needs to hit what they call a “bottom”. This is when the gambler has lost everything that really meant anything to them, such as family and friends, and it is only at this point many will see the problem and seek help.

If you know someone who is unwilling to admit their gambling problem I recommend that after you have tried your best to get this person to seek help if they do not, you may have to be prepared to leave them, remember at some point you have to abandon a sinking ship before you go down as well.

To find more information on gambling addiction search gamblers Anonymous and Codependence websites.

Microphone Technique

Motivation is the fuel that feeds our dreams and drives us to succeed, and the right motivational speaker can change your next training event from an arbitrary collection of dos and don’ts to a pit stop that will breathe new life into your business.

The role of a motivational speaker may seem a bit elusive. The title implies a call to action and the goal at the end of the day is to facilitate a change in behaviour. The last generation of motivators were adept at getting an audience to believe – “I can do it!” – but they often failed to provide the tools, or failed to start shaping the skills, that are necessary to implement this new-found inspiration.

The key to effective motivation is sustainability. A true motivator not only provides the fuel for dreams; he also provides the vehicle needed to achieve those dreams.

Modern speakers facilitate sustainable motivation in, broadly speaking, two ways:

The metaphoric-style motivational speaker: This style of speaking may be used by a motivational speaker who does not necessarily hail from a business background, or from a business that is similar to yours.

A speaker who draws on effective metaphors may come from a sporting background; he may have achieved remarkable things on a private crusade; in some way, he has likely overcome adversity and faced great challenges to reach his goal; and he is without fail a team player.

Such a speaker may challenge your views on the definition of success. He may analyse personality types and their individual places in a team environment. In any case, he would draw from personal experience to address topics such as leader selection, conflict resolution and change management, demonstrating what methods can be used to overcome the challenges faced by your team.

The tailored motivational speaker: A tailored motivational speaker will be more specific in meeting the unique needs of your business. He – or she – would go through a very thorough briefing with you and then address anything that is identified as a particular problem area, or that is a facet of your business that you wish to focus on.

As with a speaker who draws upon metaphors, a tailored speaker will also provide the tools necessary to achieve the established goals. He will provide the motivation as well as the suggested methods for carrying out the appropriate changes.

A tailored speaker will also address the need to measure the effects of the changes made in your business. Bob Miller, a very accomplished professional keynote speaker, advises that, “If you can’t measure it, don’t do it!”

What Makes a Great Motivational Speaker?

While sustainability is a critical factor in the type and style of the presenter chosen, it goes without saying that a professional motivational speaker must also have outstanding oral communication skills.

Structured content and the ability to entertain are essential qualities in a motivational speaker. He must be able to create a bond with the audience, to connect to them, to understand their own personal needs and desires and then address them in the larger context of the business environment.

Motivational speaking requires extensive preparation and much hard work. All this comes to naught, however, if the rare gift for truly effective communication is not there.

The Benefit to Your Business

A professional motivational speaker really comes into his/her own as a keynote speaker at important events. Whether you are delivering a message, announcing a new initiative or launching a new sales campaign, a professional public speaker will make sure that your business receives the most possible benefit from a function or event.

If you consider for one moment the launch of a new sales campaign with, for instance, 800 sales people in audience and featuring a one hour speech. In real time, this works out to 800 hours of wages – 100 working days, or over 13 weeks!

With so much at stake it is imperative that you make an informed decision when choosing the business speaker for your next event.

Spend your time and money wisely. Reap the full benefits of corporate events with a professional motivational speaker and give your staff – and, by extension, your business – the drive to succeed and the vehicle to achieve their dreams!

Improv Comedy for Speakers

Public speaking. For some, the mere thought of getting up in front of a group of people and presenting a speech is more terrifying than heights, snakes, or even death. Imagine how terrified those people would be if they were asked to get in front of an audience and speak with nothing prepared in advance – no script, no speech, no nothing.

Sound crazy? Well that is what Improvisational Comedians do every day. Improvisational (or “Improv”) Comedy is a form of theater where a group of actors take the stage with nothing prepared in advance and use audience suggestions to create instant comedy. If you have ever seen the popular television show, “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” then you have seen Improv Comedy.

The skills that allow an improviser to create instant comedy can immensely help any speaker to be more comfortable and powerful from the platform. Here are three reasons why, if you want to be a more effective speaker, you must learn how to be a great improviser:

1) Improv Comedy, at its core, is about self-expression. An Improviser has only himself on an empty stage. Every idea he puts forth comes from inside of him. The best improvisers realize this and trust their instincts and let their ideas flow out. Similarly, the best speakers realize that the audience is there to see them. Rather than hide behind other people’s ideas or style, they are 100% themselves as they speak. Many speakers make the mistake of taking acting classes to be more “dramatic” as they speak. The result is a speaker that looks fake and wooden. Audiences don’t want “dramatic;” they want natural. Practicing improv comedy techniques can help you be much more natural.

2) Improv Comedy is an interactive format. Improvisation may be the only art form where the audience is present at the time of creation. As a result, the audience’s needs, wants, and mood can be taken into account to direct the content. Great improvisers feed off of a crowd’s energy and build content the audience appreciates. The performer pays attention to the audience and makes subtle adjustments as she goes. Speakers would do well to adopt this approach. Most speakers prepare their speech in a vacuum and deliver it exactly as practiced. However, every audience is different. If a speaker pays attention to the audience as she is speaking, she can also make subtle adjustments to increase her effectiveness (adjusting pacing, energy, volume, etc) If you do this, not only will your speech be more powerful, but you will also develop that coveted “rapport and connection” with the audience.

3) Things will go wrong. A speaker who relies solely on what they’ve memorized will be easily thrown by the distractions that invariably happen. If time gets cut, or a cell phone rings, or a heckler demands attention, the speaker will have no response. To an improviser, distractions are just one more tool to use to make their point. A key improv attitude is to “go with the flow.” As a speaker, this attitude will allow you to be unflappable from the stage. You will be deemed a true professional, and audiences will admire your ability to handle interruptions.

These are just three simple ideas that are a powerful way in which improv comedy can make anyone a more powerful speaker. There are many more ways related to all aspects of speaking: content, delivery, storytelling, style, humor, etc, but these three are the perfect starting point.

If you have never done or used improv, then consider taking a class. Not only will you learn useful skills for speaking (and life), but it will be the most fun class you’ve ever taken!

How To Improve Communication Skills And Your Personal Style

Here are six tips for improving your communication style:

1. Knowing how to improve communication skills will come easier once you become aware of your own communication style.

Each person has a unique way of communicating. Listen to your own speech. What sorts of words do you use? Which sort of body language and what tone of voice are you using?

Now, think of someone who, in your opinion, is a good communicator. Compare your style to theirs. You’ve just taken an important first step in how to improve communication skills.

2. Now that you are aware of your own style, study the style of those around you. How do the most important people in your life converse? How do they say things? Look for approaches you can model and make your own.

3. Adjust to the other styles of communication. Don’t think it is too late to change your way of conversing because it’s been years. You had to learn to communicate in the first place and you can unlearn certain behaviors or change them. Sometimes we get stuck in a communication rut.

A father once was having a hard time with his teenaged daughter. She was growing and he thought she didn’t tell him what was going on in her life. They were in a heated discussion when he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Her answer was that she had, but he was too busy lecturing her to hear her. He learned that adjusting his style to his daughter would involve listening first before jumping right into solving the problem.

4. To build rapport, during a conversation try and match the other person’s movements, posture and verbal style. Don’t do everything they do, but mirror one or two things. For example, if the person gives mostly short answers to questions, you follow suit.

Or, maybe they talk at a slower pace than you usually do-slow your speaking speed to match theirs. This may sound simplistic but it is a very potent way to make someone feel very relaxed and comfortable in your presence.

5. The way you communicate at home may not be the same as in a different environment. Make sure you change your style to suit the different setting. Some comments you might want to tell your best friend, in private.

Other things can be shared in a group setting. Learn how to improve communication skills by altering your style for the appropriate setting. Many of us know someone who offers far too much information in a group setting.

6. Don’t criticize others for communicating differently. If we all communicated in the same way, we’d soon be bored with each other.

Getting a good grasp of your communication style and finding ways to accommodate other peoples’ styles, is a good way to improve your communication skills.

How to Develop a Dynamic Story

Story telling is a very effective way to get your point across. Here are some tips to help you develop a dynamic powerful story.

• Decide on the purpose for the story. What is the main point you want to make? Slant the telling of the story so that that point is clear.

• Create the backdrop. Describe the scene so that the audience can picture it in their minds. What is the time, location, weather? What is going on emotionally, physically, or spiritually?

• Introduce the main characters. Help your audience to picture the important characters through detailed descriptions. Become them; describe their relationships, quirks and personality. Add character voices or mannerisms to make them different from your own.

• Begin the Journey. What is the task, the goal, and the journey to take? What are the challenges that need to be faced?

• Meet the obstacle. To avoid boredom something must happen to get in your way and make it interesting. This could be a person, a self limiting belief, or a challenge to overcome. Exaggeration will add humour.

• Overcome the obstacles. What had to be done to overcome the obstacle? What inner resources did you have to summon? Did someone help you? A hero? Or you? Be specific. Break your solution down into a few steps in sequence. This is where the teaching happens.

• Resolve the story. How did everything turn out? Tie up the loose ends-what happened to the other people? To your hero?

• Make the point. A story needs one clear point to have more points confuses the issue. Write out and memorize the point, work on the words to make it simple and easy to remember. Find “the phrase that pays”.

• Ask the question. Make your story personal to the audience. “Has that ever happened to you?” Turn the main point into a question. Push their buttons!

• Practice, practice, practice. Tell your stories to anyone who is willing to listen. Get feedback, make adjustments, and tell it again. These steps will ignite the WOW in your audience.

Remember the best story you will ever tell is your next story!

 

How To Communicate In His Love Language

Are you wondering how to communicate with that new man in your life? Or maybe you are just wondering about the next man in your life? New or old, it’s never too late to learn how to communicate in the language of love.

Maybe you’ve seen the tomboyish girl that somehow has men flocking around her. If you stopped turning green with envy for a moment, you’d notice why she was a man magnet. She just sort of fit herself into him, like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that he didn’t even know was missing.

Instead of rolling your eyes at that dazed and happy-in-love look he has on his face, why not look into how she did it? Learn these tips on how to communicate in a whole new way by getting to know his love language and speaking it fluently!

We all know that love is built on the solid foundation of communication. When we are in love we are on the same page as our lover. It’s a special level of communication that people in love have.

Some call it chemistry, but really, in order to even get to the chemistry stage you need to know his love language. For a clue as to what that might be, we need to understand how he relates to the world around him.

Everyone perceives their world with three senses – sight, sound and feelings. Psychologists have discovered that even though we use all three senses, one of these senses is always more pronounced. It doesn’t mean that it replaces the others, but if you pay attention, the more dominant one will reveal itself to you.

Asking questions is the easiest and fastest way to learn his language and since asking questions is the most common way to get to know someone or start a conversation, he’ll never suspect.

He’s just returned from a business trip. You ask about his trip. Pay attention to his answer:

1. If he’s visual he might say: the weather was terrible. I didn’t get to see the sun once!

2. An auditory guy will talk about sounds: we got the account, which was good. But the hotel I stayed at was too noisy.

3. He is a feeler if he answers something like: I have to admit; I’m not much into traveling alone. I get lonely when I visit new places.

Knowing a man’s love language is the key in how to communicate with him in a way that will make him feel that you are the missing piece to his puzzle. You’ll just fit. Of course, one question isn’t going to tell you. You’ll have to watch for a pattern to emerge.

Once you do find the prominent sense, you’ll want to speak his language. Talking with your visual man will be all about what you saw on the way over, while the auditory fellow will want to know about the new CD you just bought.

It doesn’t matter what your love language is. As long as you know how to communicate to him in his Love Language you’ll soon be the envy of all the other girls. That is, unless you tell them your secret.